every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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