Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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