In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
