R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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