Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
