He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
