We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
