Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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