There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
