Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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