I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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