i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
