D3 body, D1 cock
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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