Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
