if i died would you start the facebook group?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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