I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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