We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
