Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
