i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
