my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
