Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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