I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
