Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
