Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize