508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
