he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize