it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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