I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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