What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
