Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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