eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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