Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
