I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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