Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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