her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
