All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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