called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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