And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
