I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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