well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
