just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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