come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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