had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
