hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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