I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
