3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
