You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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