Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
