You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
