The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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