I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
