Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
