thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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