I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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