no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
