i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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