Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
