The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
