i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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