just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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