My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
