my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
