my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize