OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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